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Negative trans stuff 

Lately I've been really, really struggling. I know it hasn't been long and it's not that I don't understand that things will take time. It's just... I've been feeling both very fake and very hopeless.

Just recently, a whole lot of my Twitter friends have been posting "here's me three months before I started HRT" "here's me how, x time units in" comparisons. I'm not posting this on Twitter because I don't want to make that about me or detract from their happiness. But one thing that's provided ample fuel for deeper mental spiraling is that in all the sets, their "before HRT" photo is a million times better than I can imagine ever looking even if things went spectacularly well. And their "and now" photos are often different but in subtle ways rather than radically different. It leaves me feeling even more fake for looking the way I look at the outset of this and even less hopeful that I'll get a result In happy with. Especially given I'm also twice their age.

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